Ron Toland
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  • Defund the Police: A Skit (with apologies to Letterkenny)

    Daryl: About the protests the other day--

    Wayne: Assholes with authority are assaulting folks for asinine reasons.

    Daryl: But--

    Wayne: Beating bystanders with billy clubs and then bleating for bills is bully talk.

    Daryl: Can't we just--

    Wayne: Cancel the cops.

    Daryl: Do you mean...?

    Wayne: Defund the detectives. Defang the dildo-wielding degenerates who deal damage and destruction wherever they descend.

    Daryl: Even if they--

    Wayne: Evict those eager eagles from their erroneously elevated nest.

    Daryl: For how long?

    Wayne: Until fascist fuck-ups who would fancy frisking a black fish if they found one finally confess.

    Daryl: Golly

    Wayne: Granted god-like powers to grab goods and grandstand on greatness, they gotta go.

    Daryl: Have you thought about--

    Wayne: Heave ho to the hot-headed hitmen with hearts of hate and habits of heavy fists.

    Daryl: Just--

    Wayne: Justice doesn't jump out and jack-boot a juggler in the jiggles just for laughs.

    Daryl: 'Kay.

    Wayne: Keep the keystone kleptocracy kilometers away from kids, is all I'm saying.

    Daryl: Likely.

    Wayne: Laying into little Leopolds and Lillys without legal legitimacy is for losers.

    Daryl: Maybe they--

    Wayne: Mashing moppets every month for making messes is monstrous.

    Daryl: Not if they--

    Wayne: Noting the narcs neglect of their neighbors in favor of nightly numbers.

    Daryl: Ouch.

    Wayne: Overlooking obvious offenders in their offbeat overstretch creates opposition.

    Daryl: Proof.

    Wayne: Punching protestors is poor protection of the public.

    Daryl: Quotas.

    Wayne: Quenching their quixotic quest for quotidian quiet.

    Daryl: Right?

    Wayne: Radical rascals who reject right-thinking and responsibility.

    Daryl: Sounds like--

    Wayne: Shifty seneschals who shit on any semblance of sanity.

    Daryl: Talking about--

    Wayne: Tiny totalitarians who top out thinking tanks make them trustworthy.

    Daryl: Unbelievable.

    Wayne: Utterly unsatisfactory and unscrupulous usage of ubiquitous umbrellas of immunity.

    Daryl: Verily.

    Wayne: Vanquish the vicars of vicious vicissitude and vampires of verification.

    Daryl: What you mean is--

    Wayne: Walk over to those wankers with their whale-like wads of cash, wax their ears, and wash 'em off our way-fares.

    Daryl: Extreme.

    Wayne: Exactly.

    Daryl: You really think--

    Wayne: Yes.

    Daryl: Zounds.

    Wayne: Zip 'em up, and zero out their budgets.

    Daryl: All righty then.

    Wayne: Black Lives Matter, bud.

    → 8:00 AM, Jun 22
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