Defund the Police: A Skit (with apologies to Letterkenny)
Daryl: About the protests the other day--
Wayne: Assholes with authority are assaulting folks for asinine reasons.
Daryl: But--
Wayne: Beating bystanders with billy clubs and then bleating for bills is bully talk.
Daryl: Can't we just--
Wayne: Cancel the cops.
Daryl: Do you mean...?
Wayne: Defund the detectives. Defang the dildo-wielding degenerates who deal damage and destruction wherever they descend.
Daryl: Even if they--
Wayne: Evict those eager eagles from their erroneously elevated nest.
Daryl: For how long?
Wayne: Until fascist fuck-ups who would fancy frisking a black fish if they found one finally confess.
Daryl: Golly
Wayne: Granted god-like powers to grab goods and grandstand on greatness, they gotta go.
Daryl: Have you thought about--
Wayne: Heave ho to the hot-headed hitmen with hearts of hate and habits of heavy fists.
Daryl: Just--
Wayne: Justice doesn't jump out and jack-boot a juggler in the jiggles just for laughs.
Daryl: 'Kay.
Wayne: Keep the keystone kleptocracy kilometers away from kids, is all I'm saying.
Daryl: Likely.
Wayne: Laying into little Leopolds and Lillys without legal legitimacy is for losers.
Daryl: Maybe they--
Wayne: Mashing moppets every month for making messes is monstrous.
Daryl: Not if they--
Wayne: Noting the narcs neglect of their neighbors in favor of nightly numbers.
Daryl: Ouch.
Wayne: Overlooking obvious offenders in their offbeat overstretch creates opposition.
Daryl: Proof.
Wayne: Punching protestors is poor protection of the public.
Daryl: Quotas.
Wayne: Quenching their quixotic quest for quotidian quiet.
Daryl: Right?
Wayne: Radical rascals who reject right-thinking and responsibility.
Daryl: Sounds like--
Wayne: Shifty seneschals who shit on any semblance of sanity.
Daryl: Talking about--
Wayne: Tiny totalitarians who top out thinking tanks make them trustworthy.
Daryl: Unbelievable.
Wayne: Utterly unsatisfactory and unscrupulous usage of ubiquitous umbrellas of immunity.
Daryl: Verily.
Wayne: Vanquish the vicars of vicious vicissitude and vampires of verification.
Daryl: What you mean is--
Wayne: Walk over to those wankers with their whale-like wads of cash, wax their ears, and wash 'em off our way-fares.
Daryl: Extreme.
Wayne: Exactly.
Daryl: You really think--
Wayne: Yes.
Daryl: Zounds.
Wayne: Zip 'em up, and zero out their budgets.
Daryl: All righty then.
Wayne: Black Lives Matter, bud.