Keeping Score: 3 June 2022

This week I finally started submitting stories to markets again.

I’ve been holding off, because of the writer’s block, and all the work that went into the move, but also because I was afraid. I’m afraid not just of rejection, but of being judged for what I’ve written. Afraid that even if a story does make it to an editor’s desk for reading, they’ll be put off by it, and never want to see anything by me again.

Intellectually, I know, no one thinks about me that much. My stories go in, and they get rejected, and the editors and first readers never think about me again. They’ve got lives of their own, after all.

And yet. Fear of judgement has kept me holding my stories back, worried not about how the story will be received, but how I’ll be seen for having written it. At one point, I even tried to convince myself that I didn’t want to get published, that the writing was enough for me, that making money at it didn’t matter. That delusion lasted perhaps a week before my normal ambition re-asserted itself.

All of it — the fear of judgement, the lying to myself — is a silly thing, and I know it’s silly, but it’s taken me a few months to get past it.

Thank goodness for The Submission Grinder, which (for free!) not only keeps track of what pieces I have ready to go and which markets I’ve already been rejected from, but can run a search across markets that are open to subs for each piece. That is, it knows the word count and genre, and so narrows its results down to markets that accept stories of that length and subject. It’s help me discover markets I’d never have heard of otherwise, and contests that would have closed before I had a chance to submit.

So, by the numbers:

  • 3 pieces went out last week.
  • 1 has already been rejected, and needs to go back out this weekend
  • 1 new flash piece (from last month) is ready to go
  • 3 older pieces need to be sent to new markets
  • 1 new short story needs a final editing pass (it’s currently on its second draft) before being sent out
  • 2 new flash pieces need first editing passes this weekend

…and I want to start the first draft of the new horror story. Whew!

Hope your own writing is going well, and you’re hitting your goals, whatever they may be.