I’m having trouble sleeping.
I wake up multiple times in the night, thinking I’ve heard our dog bark or someone move in the house beneath our bedroom.
Sometimes I fall right back to sleep, but often I’ll just lay there, my brain chewing over some problem from the day, unable to rest.
When I do sleep, I dream. But nothing comforting: I dream of the world we’ve lost.
I dream of going to a pub for dinner. Of going on a trip at the airport. Seeing a movie.
Mundane things. Well, mundane before.
Even there, the pandemic intrudes. I go to a pub, intending to meet friends like normal, but my wife and I take masks with us, and sit 6 feet apart. The airport we go to is mostly deserted, and the planes never arrive. On our way to the movie theatre, someone yells at us for being outside.
So my dreams bring no comfort. No escape from reality.
In truth, I know I’m lucky. Both my wife and I have been healthy so far. We’ve had enough food and toilet paper (though it was touch and go the first two weeks). And our current house is new enough that nothing major has broken on us (yet).
I just…I wish I could relax enough to rest, and sleep, again. And dream of something else.