I chase children. Strictly catch-and-release, though. I bag ’em, tag ’em, and let ’em go.
Almost didn’t get the last one. Every time I thought I had him he darted in front of an oncoming trolley, forcing me to tip my bike over to keep from crashing into the side of the train. The third time he did that, I spent a week nursing a nasty road rash, then finally nabbed him while he was walking to school.
Turned out it was a waste of my time. All that work, and he was the wrong one.
I don’t hurt them. I’m not a pervert looking for a sick time. I just knock them out and pull a little bit of blood. I run a few tests, then drop them off at home before they wake up.
I would never hurt them, because one of these kids is mine.