The Choices I’ve Made

Finished reading Just a Geek. Surprisingly, my experiences and feelings toward NASA parallel Wheaton’s feelings toward Star Trek in many ways: the feeling that I need to prove leaving was the right decision, the odd mix of guilt, excitement and nostalgia I feel whenever I see someone I used to work with, the worry that something went horribly wrong with my life and I’ll never get it back on track.

It’s good, then, to see that Wil has grown into an acceptance of his past and his decision. I feel like I’m still somewhere in the middle of the story, with a sense that I can and should let go of both the image of myself that working at NASA gave to me, and the dreams I originally left NASA for. But I can’t bring myself to drop them, yet.

That’s not to say I can’t dream new dreams. I know I should, and I’m trying hard to, but I’ll be damned if both dreams–NASA Engineer and Novel Writer–aren’t hard to wake up from.